Productive Girl or Party Gyal
Living in this capitalist country, can make it very difficult to choose your best bet. I believe that you should enjoy your life at every age and at every stage but especially in your 20s when you’re young, wild, and free. Ironically, I’m not much of a party gyal but it’s not really by choice.
Let me explain. I’ve been an introvert since elementary for reasons I still don’t understand. I partied more under 18 than I do right now. My introverted personality influenced my homebody lifestyle however it has a lot to do with day to day living. For so long I’ve felt pressured to make wise choices to create a better life for myself and my family. This wasn’t asked of me by a human but I feel obligated, like it’s my purpose or something. Well at least a part of my purpose. I feel like I’m the one that was sent to break the generational curses and unhealthy patterns. Those who know, know. Shit is hard out here but it’s hard for everybody - most people.
My whole point is, I cant find the balance between managing my life, preparing for my future and living in the now. Some of my “living in the now” moments were drastic decisions I had to reconsider moving forward. It’s mostly because I’m not where I want to be but that’s truly a twisted perspective. You can become happier with your position but humans are never satisfied. We are always looking for more. Therefor, there would always be somewhere you want to be that you’re not currently. There would always be a new mountain to climb, a new thing to have, a new way to look, a new way to be.
I’m sure there’s people that have this balance figured out but I am not those people and that has nothing to do with me. I think the answer is generating enough income to cover your expenses, save for later, and spend for now. Not to have you all up in my applesauce but I’m not quite there yet. My efforts to get there is causing me to prioritize stability wayy before partying. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. If I have bills to pay, money to save, and credit to build, I can’t see myself going partying. Like life should be celebrated but I haven’t done what is required for a better life so there’s no celebration to be had as yet.
Now comes the fact that we don’t know if we’ll be around to see these wins we put so much effort toward. But then there comes my faith. God has a plan for me and I am sure that my mission is incomplete so there’s no way I’m done here. It’s contradicting but I although I’m working very generously toward my future, I want to live more, do more, experience more. I’ve simply been surviving. Question is, How do I thrive?
